update

It's amazing what time with God and time alone will do for the spirits... well that and I made some deliberate choices... some more fun than others but some decisions that needed to be made.

God and I just had it out about the fact that it is and will always be Him first. Had it out might be a strong statement... let's just say I had to go "Ok God, I am miserable without You." There really was not a pressure but just an acknowledgment. And in that acknowledgment came peace.
Second I am going to take a vacation. I decided that no matter what happens with the job interviews at the *NBLSA fair I am making plans as if the interview is going to happen and take time off after the interview to rest and just be. I've heard so much about how awesome DC is that I am curious to check it out, I have a few friends from college, high school, law school, and church that live there. And then I am going to work my way up to NYC. Another city that I have not experienced that people I love rave about. Anslee and Heather live up in Brooklyn and I am curious to see it with my own eyes.

Third I am going to work on the word 'no' I started using it a little last semester but I need to use it more often. If I am honest with myself I find a lot of self worth in being 'needed'. Hum that's a problem because my self worth should be in Christ right?

You know what fascinates me? How we become less and less like ourselves the further we get from God. How egotistical and unbalanced we are in whatever we find our self worth in anything else. I'll explore that thought and the others from the list later. I have to get ready to catch a plane and cook dinner.

thank you for your prayers and messages. i needed them. love you
nen

*NBLSA
National Black Law Student Association: they hold fairs all over the country. At the end of the month they are holding one in DC. There are a mixture of firms from all over the country that will be there, including California. You have to be selected for an interview, so in some regards it is not a true fair (hopefully I will get chosen... especially since I need to get my plane tickets.). What I realize and understand is that my strength is in my personal presence. employers get a better feel of what I can add to their firm when they meet me verses looking at a resume. I am fully aware that it is God that gives me favor with people. He gave me favor with the last fair... I am praying and hoping for more favor. But we shall see. But I am hopeful and excited. I am ready to move on!