Still waiting for the bar results...

I can't sleep. I can't focus. I just want to know. They (my classmates) were right. It is the waiting that is the worst. I just want to know and I honestly don't care about anything else until I know.

Pray for focus for me. I have a case I am working on that I have to get done. But I can not seem to get any traction on it because I can't focus.

I sat down and journaled/talked with God today and just asked this question... is it because I don't trust You with the future? I don't know? I wish it was just a lack of faith but it is so much more.... it is how public the knowledge is. I was talking to one of my Cali girls yesterday and she summed it up. It is just so public. I wish so many people did not know when the results came out so that I could quietly go into my hole if I fail. But I can't. The good old legal profession exposes everything about you.

I guess the healthier response is "My identity is in Christ." I m trying to hold on to that... but the public shame... maybe if I held on to where my identity was it would be a case of disappointment rather than shame if I don't pass. AHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok. That is out of my system. Not really but least I am being honest with you.

Wed... two more days and a few more hours. Time is ticking by