it is good

Sometimes life does not turn out the way you expect and that is ok because it is as it should be.

Funny the sense of joy that I have inside of me… I think that is what is the weirdest thing about today… I’ve sort of moved on. yeah there is some residual stuff… but the love more than makes up for it.

I will say it again I have been given more than what is fair. I will say it again I trust God. I trust his timing. That has been said to me quite a bit this weekend… and the funny thing is that the first time I heard it I heard it with my ears, the second time I heard it I wanted to believe it and see it, the third time I heard it I believed it and started waiting to see what the greatness will be. I know that SF is where I am supposed to be. And I know that not passing the bar is not random. The idea that it is random does not compute with my theology (I say that with a slight smile). There is a purpose and meaning… and this afternoon I was praying to see some of the reason. Well another girl I had been chatting with from the bar did not pass. And yea… let’s just say some of the purpose of failing came clear. :)

I wait for something great. I wait for God to surprise me with both work and circumstances. I wait to see what is waiting for me because I did fail. I wait to live in faith. I am waiting: anxiously, joyously, hopefully. What is faith… the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

If I say I believe in God I believe, in him being sovereign and deliberate, in Him causing all things to work for good… then I have to believe that this is good masquerading as bad, that this is deliberate and planned and that it will work for a higher good… that the things hoped for can be, the conviction that He exists and works though I can’t see him.

There is so much more than this situation. There are so many things waiting for me. The other shoe has not dropped. I know there is a purpose that I can’t see now that later on down the road I will look back and go “Oh…” I can not shake that conviction. Lead on God. There is more out there and there is something you are teaching me and I am ready to learn.