Sex trafficking

I am trying to marshal together my thoughts from this weekend. For those of you who do not know I went to a sex trafficking workshop. I learned a lot and some of what I learned and was exposed to: reaffirmed some things felt in my heart, muddled the waters with how/what I think of the men I care about and know that have gone to strip club and/or used a prostitute or massage parlor, and challenged me to action.

I learned a lot… I learned about how they ‘recruit’ their girls. I learn how they season them and make them submissive. I learned how they mentally destroy the girl all to make a profit. I can’t call prostitution a victimless crime any more. You are paying to rape a girl when you pay for sex.

That is a hard statement for me to make because they are men that I know and care about who have done that (by the way there are men that you love and care about who have done the same). I know men that have gone to strip clubs women that have done the same… and I can’t sit by any more and ignore the fact that the people I love are helping keep sex trafficking in business. It is so easy “Oh they choose to do this.” Do you really know. Do you know who their money is going to? Do you know if it is a pimp? Do you know if they got involved because of sexual abuse? Do you know?

Is it easier to tell ourselves that this woman chose to do this rather than open our eyes to the more likely scenario… that she was forced into it and is being kept in it?

I hate strip clubs and I hate prostitution. I don’t hate the girls who do it and I don’t hate the men that go… I hate the mindset that creates it and I hate the people that make a profit off a woman’s body. Some say it is like a sports athlete… no they get to keep their dignity… and they are not dehumanized or forced into slavery. A woman who is involved in this just becomes something to be consumed. She fits into a very special niche called ‘satisfying my appetite’. I think that is part of the problem… the way we view women is part of the problem. There are the mother, sisters, friends, women you respect and women that feed your appetite. There is the girl you marry and the one you have fun with. There is the Madonna and the whore (reference to Freud) and as a woman you fit into one or the other. Something is inherently wrong with that view. Behind the thought of ‘ this is a girl you marry’ is this idea of a use for women, again she is property. I am not sure if that is making sense. I need to think on it a little bit more.

But this is why there is a struggle in me about this… how does my perception of the men who engage in this change? My view of the women have not changed. I still see them as being victimized but the men that engage and use these women… It would be simple to say “Oh those men are evil.” But I know some of them and they are not… which makes the issue that much more difficult.

We talked a lot about the demand side of the problem. That while there is a demand there will always be a supply of girls to be used. Again there is that word choice, women (and boys) used as a commodity.

So I will be processing a lot of stuff from this weekend over the next couple of days/weeks. There will be more discussion on the actual material I learned. And I am more than willing to pass it along.