and when the random thoughts could not get more random

So last weekend we got into this discussion of the 'self'. And how until modern times there was not a concept of self. There was almost a lack of awareness of self. And we talked about how here in America we are so focused on me, I the self... and are we miserable because of it.

When I read my friends blog and I think about my own life I am miserable when I focus on self. We keep looking for this balance between 'loving myself' and not being consumed by self, and knowing thy self... is that the right focus? And honestly no one seems to be happy... no one seems to have hit on the right balance. Those who 'love' their selves seem no happier than those who hate self. But when we lose ourselves for something greater life has more meaning. Why else would people die of their country or other people because there is something greater and richer than living life for just me. Somewhere inside of us we are tuned to truly be happy when we are not the center of our worlds.

Yesterday in Bible study we started talking about community (in relation to our sin being communal not just individual). And Janeen brought up the point that community is so much bigger than just our group of people, or our nation, that maybe the community is the whole world (when you take it to the logical end). And we talked about that when we are focused on the good of the community serving one and other naturally 'we' are taken care of because we are all focused on our actions being for the good of the community and other people act based on how it will effect us. Hum it reminds me of so many things... 'look out not only for your own interest." "they will know you are mine by the love you have for one and another". The list goes on and on.

I used to fight against my parents and their worry and concern of the community. "Nnena don't you know that the other kids are looking up to you." "Don't you know your sisters will follow you in what you do?" And I used to fight against it, let me be my own person, let me do what I want, stop stiflingly me. They were trying to engrain in me this idea that my actions affect others, so act carefully knowing that other are watching.

Anyways more random thoughts. Just thinking out loud. :)