Ramble

Warning this is a giddy, floating, loving life sort of blog. It might just drive some of you crazy.


It’s no secret that I love kids. I do. Some of my best times in life are connected to them.

But this morning in church was just sweet. I got a chance to hold Charlottes baby during church. Just to give you a little bit of context, Grace is a church plant in Macon and we meet in a coffee house. And today I decided to sit in the back in some of the fluffy big chairs. Charlotte was sitting next to me with her baby. After letting the baby observe me for a while I asked if I could hold her. we were just curled up in the couch, she and I. she was sitting in my lap or at times standing with me singing, or sitting and singing. It was funny she would try to move her mouth and form words while we were singing as if she could sing too. I loved her grabbing my face or trying to eat my fingers. But again the sweetest time was just when she was cradled in my lap looking up and playing with me. Hum. There is an unexplainable sort of peace that happens with a baby. There is something about holding them and their weight in your arms that is just special. I don’t think I will ever be able to put into words just how magical holding them can be. I love me some babies.

So I am on a little bit of a high at this moment. Two of my brothers (James and Tom) came down to visit me and it was sweet time, good time. They came in the afternoon and we just stomped around. We went to a graveyard and wandered and talked and looked at old gravestones. Then James goes, “show us your life.” And so I did. We stomped around the law school. They met some of my classmates. We talked about life and logos in the moot court room and then walked back home. Then I cooked dinner for them. And while I was cooking Clif came over and told them stories of his journeys. I loved having the three of them in my kitchen laughing and talking. Then he left and we ate dinner and talked more. Some of my girls came by before dinner and hung out for a quick second and then made an appearance later on in the evening again. And we laughed and talked and just enjoyed each other. Later on I took advantage of the fact that James wanted to see some of my life and I bust out my photos of some of my favorite people. And I told him of my family and friends throughout the years and we reminisced and talked. You know there are not a lot of people that I have gotten a chance to tell the stories of the people I love. It was nice. Tom helped me with some of the stories. It was just nice. I think I like sharing my life with people. I know I do.

It’s been a good few weeks… good saturated with God weeks… time where I feel myself moving back towards where I was in college…let me explain. I feel a constancy with my walk instead of burst and sparkles.

If you remember God and I had been having some thinking times of what does it look like to be a steward of my life instead of the owner. And that led to every morning covering a good portion of my bible. I would read a book of the bible over and over in the mornings, the same book for a week. The first week was I John and God rocked me and also changed my thoughts towards a friend. The next week was Hebrews where God answered my question from a few weeks ago “What does it mean to obey You?” I’ll get back to that thought later. The third week was James and that led to a good heart to heart with my girls. And this week is Ephesians. Let’s see what happens.

For me I struggle with discipline, I do. And I had to be in a position where discipline was forced upon me. The constant soaking of the bible gets into your mind and soul and thoughts. It is not enough for me to read a passage once and continue on my day… it is in the constant reading over and over that God starts to take the peieces and add them into a corherent story. And my attitude and life has changed. I am happy and at peace in a way I have not been in a while. And even though everything is so fluid right now, I am not worried. Honestly the point that we are at (the point God brought me to) is that He will direct my life. As long as I am pursuing him everything will be filtered out. Things with guys will be filtered out, job stuff will be filtered out, my day to day living. And as long as I soak in Him I can trust that there is purpose behind my longings and the things I am seeking. Honestly I am just enjoying the journey right now.

Anyways back to the whole Hebrews deal. A few years ago Danny and DL were taking us through Hebrews and they said something that did not make sense until now. They were talking about how through practice we are able to discern good from evil…
Well I was reading through Hebrews two weeks ago and this jumped out at me “Christ learned obedience… and was made perfect” That struck me as odd, he learned obedience. Hum… strange. Then I kept on reading and I got to the end of the chapter. “Who thorugh practice are able to discern good from evil.” And finally it clicked what they had tried to explain to me. Ok let me give you a little background here. A few weeks ago I was reading a blog of a friend of mine. And his motto from the summer was obedience ove activity… and he had been blogging about obedience to God etc. Well I read his blog and I asked God. “What am I being obedient to? What is there that God is telling me to do that I need to obey.” Anyways that thought has been rattling in my head for a while… and then I came to the verses “through practice.” When we are able to discern good from evil we will know what to obey. Does that make sense. Until we know what is right and wrong we do not know what to obey… but once we have had out senses trained to know what is right… does that make sense?

Anyways it does in my head. :)

Long story short I like where God is taking me. He is calming my temper and making me understand people better than I ever have. He is keeping me from making rash choices by running my mouth and instead understanding what is the heart and mind of the person speaking to me. I have been more able to have grace and not anger. It’s been great!

Anyways that is along enough blog. Here’s what you should get from it. God is good. I am happy and there is tons of growth to happen but He will take me there.

Done and done.