So the question is... was today any different with the shift of thought... yes and no... Was work any easier... no my Staff attorney corrected me today and I almost cried in front of her, almost... can't cry in the real world, emotions have to be handled and work goes on... but the thoughts that ran through my head were slightly tempered, key word slightly... for ever petty thought that ran through my head from thoughts of how to guilt her to thoughts of leaving after i finish my projects ran through my head. but for ever thought of sin came a thought of "how is this going to glorify God. if you do this it adds nothing to the kingdom. just hold through this nnena" God is going to be doing a lot of work in nnena. i have prayed for years for a quiet and gentle spirit... i guess that comes hard earned. i prayed for humility... i guess this is the beginning of the chipping away of the pride. i want to have true joy and peace not one that depends on the type of day i am having but true joy... what does Christ look like here at work? i don't know... but i am going to be figuring out... it is easy to be joyful when you feel competent, held together, and supported... its easy to shine when you are in a protective environment... but will i be light when none of those things hold true.
sigh.
i got a lot to learn... but it will be good and i want to learn.
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