Week one at the court

So people have been asking me what was my first day/week of work like… here we go in no particular order

Uncomfortable
Exciting
Overwhelming
Stretching
Growing

What have I learned?
That my relationship with God, my times with God are not a talisman to give me luck
That other than Fulton county jail the court house has the highest concentration of criminals than any other place in Fulton county.
This is still what I should do with the rest of my life
The work here, mission, is big and hard earned.

This has been an exciting and often times frustrating week. We, I, have gone to not knowing anything and getting lost in the courthouse, fighting with a queen (more on that later) to have three projects that I am balancing and strongly considering doing work at home. I am not playing around or pouring someone’s coffee I am actually doing real work that matters and effects other people’s lives. Maybe I should remind them that I am only a first year law student… and do they really want to give me this much responsibility.

And in the midst of the craziness God has taught me lessons about Him self and our relationship together. Remember the whole my relationship with God is not a talismans to give me luck… hum I learned that this week.
Well as usual I get running and take on more than I should… and this week that meant going to the C store after working at the court on my first day. Well before I left Sandra was telling me that her goal for us was to be able to step into her shoes at the end of the summer… oh and by the way when it is the judges turn to be on presiding week she will not be here that Friday. ACK! That is a month away from now… um did I mention that I am just a One L? Well I realized that I had a lot to learn fast… and i had been running, running, running… well the first thought that I had the next day was, “Oh my gosh I have not had my time with God in depth and I am running around, and I have been neglecting our time… and oh my gosh then that means everything will go wrong at work today. And it is so important that I am on base with God so that the day will go well. And then I caught my self.

Who is God and on what basis do I have a relationship with him? Have I forgotten that… is it that good things happen when He is happy with me because I have done all the right things and I am in like Flynn with him? Is that how God works? Is my quiet time my lucky foot my talisman to ward away a bad day? Will I by having a good quiet time by having in-depth time with Him decide how the day will be? Can I control Him like that? Is that even His nature… doesn’t He always do good not because we deserve it but because He is good? Won’t things go as He decides they will? Is He sovereign? Nnena what do you believe about God?

So I calmed down… and yes several of these thoughts did flow through my mind.

It is so easy to look at life and go “Something bad is happening I must have sinned.” So if everything is easy then God is happy with you? If bad times come does it mean He does not love you? Or are there other reasons for it. Do not get me wrong I believe that there are consequences for sin but I think at times we give lip serve to one aspect of God (i.e. my reformed beliefs) and yet live our lives a different way… and if I am honest with myself what I live shows what I really believe about God.

Anyways I could go on.

I have so many impressions about the running of the court house… the running of the court if you will… there are so many characters and so much power play. It is amazing. Yet everyone wants to make a difference… they actually do. There is a real love and affection between the judge and the attorneys assigned to him. The attorneys respect each other and also have affection for each other, yes prosecutors and defense.

What about it as a mission field… wow… respect will have to be earned and I will have to live with integrity to make any sort of difference. And I suppose that should always be the case but even more so here. You have people that are jaded by jail house conversions. Where a guy in jail will write a letter saying he has been changed by Jesus and won’t the judge just give him one more chance. Some people are genuine in their conversion others just use Christ as a battering tool. You have assistants who plan their Sunday school lessons instead of doing work or helping relieve the work load of their staff attorneys. Actually almost refusing outright to do the work they should be doing (power struggles). There are people who call the judges and tell them that their ruling on a case was just not Godly…There are people who use church as a way to network for a job, people who teach Sunday school whose lives do not show Christ. It is amazing. Light, true pure light would go a long way here. A true scent of Christ in his humility and integrity could go a long way here. His compassion could go miles. His scent, his true scent… gosh can I bring his true scent in

And here is where it matters where I am with God… not as a talisman to make the day go well and write the perfect memo… no so that people can see Christ… you know we sell the Christian walk as one of two things. Wither we sell perfection for the sake of others or we sell perfection so that we can receive… and in a weird way both are right… when I am focused on God all is well. My heart is right, the world might be falling apart but it is ok because I have Him and he gives me life. He gives me life time and time again… and then there is a reality that I might be the only Christ they see this summer… and how can they smell Him if I have not been so in his presence that his scent remains with me. How can they see light if my eyes and heart are so cloudy that no light shines from me.

I don’t just want to do a good job there, though I do want to do well, but there is a greater and bigger reason for me to be there. Can I and will I remember it? Will I remember in the midst of life that I am 1. hungry for God and 2. they are hungry for God too. And when I east and breath Him deep I am feeding two, three, four people… can i remember that?
We shall see…