Moving on

So I sat in bed for a while. I didn't want to move and I just sat there and thought... I prayed for him I prayed for his family. I prayed for his future wife whoever she may be. I prayed for God to give him deep happiness. I had to pray that as much for him as for my own soul.

I woke up at peace. The right decision had been made. Doesn't mean my heart is not raw, does not mean it is not hard, but there is peace in knowing the right thing happened.

God being God planned my month in a way that I could not have anticipated. He planned it in a way that protects my heart and keeps me busy. He is also allowing me to see people who make my heart light and force me to think. God being God also provided provisions in the form of new people that I have met who are promising to keep my life filled with laughter. I won't be alone. And I won't be alone with people that let me be shallow. Even the new people He has put in my path stretch me and force me to think. I have to up my game. God being God has given me a peace inside that soon Nnena, soon, all these lessons you are learning will bear fruit. Soon Nnena soon the right time the right person, not something you manufacture, something that will surprise you is around the corner. I can't shake that impression. But next time it will be someone who fits all the fabric of my life. Someone who my family and friends say 'this makes sense Nnena'

But I am not living for that... it will just be a part of the story that is going on here in sf. And what a wonderful story it has been. Do I regret my beau? Heck no! I was cherished and loved. I was supported and encouraged. I was loved deeply and fought for. And for once I let my guard down and in doing that understood the nature of God a little more. I regret nothing. My theology was challenged and stretched. I was forced to grapple with difficult conversations. I learned how to open my mouth on behalf of myself. I grew up a ton. Thank you.

And the most precious gift that was given to me... I am alive in Christ in a way I have not been in a year. It was worth it. Every good thing comes from the Father. Thank you Father for good gifts. Thank you for t.t.