Naked and Clothed

‘I don’t think God is going to let stupid things like us screw up someone’s eternity.’ Jaime.

Rejoice, rejoice, because He will cover you and me. Rejoice He knew we were naked before we knew we were and he covered us with his blood, with his body. Rejoice, rejoice your savior is here, he who loved you, knew you were needy. He bought food when you did not know you were hungry, he provided water when you did not know how to satisfy your thirst. Rejoice, rejoice in your brokenness because he will make you whole.

I don’t and can’t regret the things that God has brought me in life. I remember a saying from Job… shall I only take the good from God? Except change that to being everything as being good… the easy, the hard, the confusing because in the end it all works for this greater good that I might not ever see but I oh so believe is there.


It’s been a interesting time, a good time. I debated how I was going to start this blog post but I guess I will just dive in and use today to highlight what is going on in my head and heart.

Last week I read through the beginning of Ethics… and again there was a discussion on being naked and the knowledge of good and evil. And that in the knowledge of good and evil we become (just like they, adam and eve became aware) of being naked and we, they hid, from God. Funny he always knew we were naked but there becomes this awareness of our nakedness when we stare at what we consider good or evil… rather than staring at Him. And the thought that has been rolling around my head is that we need his covering. We need his covering of righteousness, of rightness that we know we so desperately need. We need to know he doesn’t see our nakedness… I need to know he doesn’t see that but something else…

This semester I have been growing in an awareness of my need of grace. That I too need God’s covering and I too am a sinner. Oh and by the way I was a sinner way before I ever realized it, way before I knew I was naked and He still covered me. It’s just that now I am aware of how broken and needy I am.

Last night doug and I had a good talk. About God and life and some other things that were going on… and somewhere in the middle of our talk he challenged me to apply my belief in the sovereignty of God to everything, including my heart and everything connected with it. It was a good talk, conversation… one that started putting my heart back in beat with God.

The next morning I woke up and couldn’t make myself get moving for church. I sent a message to Jaime saying if you want to come to church text me. thank you Jesus for making me send that message because then I don’t think I would have gone and I needed to be there this morning to think. Jaime texted me back. I picked her up and we headed to Grace.

So we went to Grace and Bob (pastor) was speaking. And he starts off talking about who America’s greatest educator… say it with me commercials. And then he goes into a list of things that we learn from commercials.

‘All problems can be resolved. All loose ends can be taken care of. You learn how to fix problems and we preach the gospel like that… oh and by the way all problems are resolved quickly.

The world is not like that and I want it to be. I want it to be for me and I want it to be the case with stuff with me and ‘the boy’. Right before I got off the phone with Doug I commented “I worry that I have screwed up the gospel for him (the boy) and the people around him.” Doug said to me “Let him go, you are not letting him go because you are trying to fix it. Nnena he’s not your problem to fix… you can’t… you are not the one” “Doug that is not my only motive for being here.” “But it is one of the factors keeping you there”

And he is right. My motive for not doing so much in my life is that the gospel is so much bigger than my wants… and I don’t want to get in the way of the gospel for someone else. But with him I wanted, selfishly, him more than I wanted the gospel for him. That’s not love… that’s not caring about him more than my self. And I continued to torture myself with the fact that I had been selfish and what had I done? Did I create too much damage? Can God redeem what I had done?

As Bob was talking I started journaling… Where is my theology? If You are sovereign God if I believe it I have to believe to believe that you will fix it and even if you don’t there is a reason for it and it is good. All things work for the good. I’m letting him go. The consequences for obedience are not up to me, there will be consequences for my disobedience but I am letting go. The gospel is so much bigger than my screw ups. Walk in freedom Nnena walk in the knowledge that He is sovereign. Walk in the knowledge that you can not mess up His will.

I can’t fix it but I can trust You with him and I will trust You with him.

The scariest thing is that there might always be loose ends but that is for You to handle. I am not out of Your reach or control. He is not out of your reach. You have the power to make my screw ups beautiful and whole. But I can’t do it. I can’t make it right but you can and I need you to do it. I need You to make my mess beautiful.

Bob finished talking and started preparing the elements for the Lord’s Supper and I picked up my journal and started writing again

The gospel is for those that don’t deserve it who never deserved it and never will and live in that knowledge. I come helpless broken and needy wanting to be made whole. I need your broken body to make me whole. Make me aware of your covering. I am naked and aware of my nakedness. You always knew I was naked but then I became aware of my sin. Will you cloth me?

And I got up and took the elements. Bob “Nnena this is Christ’s body broken for you.” David looked at me and said “This is Christ’s blood spilt for you Nnena”
Indeed it was and it is good.


Circle of Error Lyrics