Good Friends

Thank you God for good friends. Friends that both challenge you and friends that give you that shot of wisdom. Before my summer started I asked God to rock my world and make me uncomfortable and force me to grow. And He did, and has started... First I was provided with a new friend who stretches the way i think and pushes me. Then He provided several tough situations in which He is forcing me (and has forced me) to talk with people about difficult issues. And then when i call out to Him about something that confused me and had me paralyzed He provides me with time with a good friend, Ms. L Brooks. I love this woman. I was laying in bed last night, praying confused... wait let me quote from the journal (by the way i am learning what it means to be honest with all your desires ) "...wisdom in pursuing ... God i have never pursued my chased my desires. I have always been prudent and 'wise' or fearful and cautious. Teach me the difference between wisdom and repression. Obedience and fear and discernment." You see when you open the pandora's box of 'God here is my heart" there is a lot that comes with it... wisdom/pride/foolishness is a close companion. I don't have to be wise and prayerful when I deny to myself what my heart is asking... i don't have to pray for wisdom, or heck even for God to fulfill the desire because i have already killed it.

Anyways last night i was in knots and i needed some wisdom. Enter in this morning. Well my boss (yes this is a familiar line i am about to say) kicked me out of the office to go to the doctor. I know i know, again nnena, yea, again... i have a hard time going sometimes. Anyways long story short i left my appointment early and had a chance to hang out with Letoyia. THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!

everything that i asked god about the night previously she spoke straight to. We shared our hearts and what was going on and where we were at in life. And it was wonderful. And it was right. I looked at Letoyia "Do you know i said God in 24hrs i really need you to answer this for me. And though i don't like the answer i have it. And i feel amazingly free"

Yup i feel free. I can move forward and not worry about what could have been, what could happen, because... yeah, it's done. :) I know incredibly vague... but there is a limit to the disclosure that will happen in a blog. :) Just know that God's 'no' is the best thing i have heard all week! I am free. Free to dream and plan and move and not look back and regret... and it feels wonderful.

so rejoice with me. Freedom is hard earned but oh so sweet!