Sorting

He's always given me the freedom to follow Christ.

It's early here on the West Coast... how do I feel... can't sleep... thinking... processing... missing... fluctuating between thoughts of "This is right for us now." and "He'll find a better fit." I don't know what the certainty of "This is right for us now." means. I didn't like having to decide between lovers, Christ and him. When will the choice be both? I don't know. I really don't know.


There are a lot of things to sort out and sort through. Funny this has made other situations more clear and there is a certain irony in that.

Here's to a complete undivided heart. Here's to great men who give you freedom in Christ. Here's to adult men! Golly the standard is high now. It is so high. Here's to finding what fits on such a deep level. Again the standard has been raised. Here's to faith that maybe, just maybe... the no is no for right now. He's to one single passion.

I got a lot to sort through. Love you guys.