Tough choices

Do you ever get tired of having to make tough choices? I do and i am dragging my heels about a tough choice coming up. It is a choice between existing and living. I say existing and living because one choice, though good, is simply that just good. And I would live a life centered on me and my wants. The other choice is living because it involves following Father and giving up what I hold dear. I pray and hope God brings it back to me... but only through him and not through my own efforts. Can I say I am grieved by the choice. Can I say I am very grieved by the choice. Can I say that God demands much. Can I say that He gives much. I feel like I am having my Abraham moment. Oh God please bring it back to me.