Leaving

It's been a while. And honestly I should be sleeping but I am not.

So I leave tomorrow... for a long time... and then for an indefinite time after that. I am going to miss the life God has given me here. It's so weird that two random conversations would put me in touch with two new groups that would provide support and strength for me. One is the church I have been going to. The other is my gym. OhI will miss them both.

Don said a statement to me that if you always give the excuse you don't know how long you will be around you will never plug in and might miss out. He was right, oh so right, and I came and visited the small group he was going to. My small group has been food for my soul when I have needed it. They have given me much to think about and explore about God. They are real and don't have false faces up. What they think they will tell you. When life is tough for them, they tell you. When it is great they tell you too. And it is a colorful group as far as races... and i missed that with logos. I thrive on different colors... plus sometimes it is lonely being the only 'other' in a group. They have been good to my soul.

My gym people keep me balanced... they encourage me and create physical reference for me and the bar (Plus it is fun to be a teenager again have crushes on your trainers. :)). My cousin got me going to there. The gym is a weird mixture of Olympic weight lifting, gymnastics, and cardo or sorts. Imagine, little old me doing dead lifts and clean and jerks and the list goes on. I almost hit 200 on my dead lifts wed... :) I'll hit it next time. But anyways the gym is a small community filled with all sorts of people. They are also a mini-extended family and they have opened their arms up and let me in.

Tonight I freaked out about the bar. Thankfully I had already planned my evening... for time with fam and time at the gym. I texted people madly for prayers and encouragement, which I got. But they were not physically there and I just needed some human touch. Well I packed up my bags and heading to work out and I am glad. I am glad I saw them. A crew from the gym hung out tonight and I got a chance to say goodbye for now. There is something sweet in knowing that the people you will miss will miss you too. I am going to miss the girls there. I will also miss the guys being on my case pushing me further. One of the dear guys there message for me was "Your going to kill the bar and I am going to whip your butt back into shape when you come back." Thanks JW... I think. But I like them, I like them a lot and they have said random comments that make me think of God and make my mind work over time.

one of those thought i'll explore later... later because i leaving in a few hours and i have to get some sleep.

i love you guys.