it's been an interesting morning... lots of thinking, lots...

right now i am struggling to keep focus... honestly my head started playing resentful thoughts that were not even my own thoughts and i struggled and realized that that was because i was not filling myself my head with God. there is this saying i got from a childhood book, the girl in the novel is being told a prayer that her grandfather used to do, it was a prayer from the old saints. it goes "Empty me of me so that i can be filled with Thee." there is this void that happens when you are not filling yourself with Christ, and everything else flows in to fill it. All the time i try to live with out being totally immersed in God and it doesn't work. it just doesn't work. and i get frustrated and wonder why my thoughts are a certain way and well... i didn't empty myself of me and fill myself with God.
well i prayed, repented cried to God this morning. and i asked for his grace to change my mind. and he is. he really is....
anyways that is how this morning went...